Blair O’Neal Loves MoonDog’s Links

By MoonDog | November 19, 2008

Afternoon linkage from around the blogosphere I think you’ll enjoy.

Blair O'Neal Loves MoonDog's Links - See More of her at The World of Isaac

Highlight Link of the Day:

Hitler and VMI (Losers with Socks)

Julianne Hough Gets Bounced (Epic Carnival)

Ryan Dempster Re-Signs With Cubs (Hugging Harold Reynolds)

Ashley Greene Spilling Out of Her Dress (On 205th)

Stacy Keibler vs Blair O’Neal (The World of Isaac)

Actors Saying “Bye Good” to Hollywood (Film Drunk)

Donovan McNabb Playing Hoops (NESW Sports)

     

Topics: Celebrities, Chicks & Babes, Major League Baseball, NFL | No Comments »

Real Men Shop At Home Depot

By MoonDog | November 19, 2008

This past weekend I was out and about looking for materials to build a fireplace mantle. As any real man would do I headed to the nearest Home Depot to purchase everything I needed to create something that amounts to another dust collector.

Home Depot - The Temple of Manly Men Everywhere

As I carefully studied the different types of wood that could be used for my little project, I began to give thought to a post I read last week about another man on a quest of sorts.

I don’t want to mention his name, not because he’s in witness protection or anything like that, but he admitted to being with his fiancee at Bed, Bath & Beyond, a place that manly types don’t venture in to.

Not that I have anything against Bed, Bath & Beyond. Having never stepped foot inside one of their stores I can’t comment on the available wares, but obviously it’s a place that appeals to the more feminine among us.

I frequently give my mother and sisters gift certificates to BB&B and they light up like a Christmas tree. Women like that kind of stuff you can adorn your bathroom with. Towels, weird-shaped bars of soap, candles and the like are what makes a woman’s day.

Bathrooms, at least in my experience, are places we men use about 15 minutes each day. A 10-minute shower and another five minutes spent on tending to other business is about all the bathroom is needed for.

Bed, Bath & Beyond = Not Manly

I don’t want to be too hard on Isaac, oops, I mean “George,” because I understand his plight. You noticed I mentioned he was with his fiancee, a young man willing to do anything at this point to make the woman he loves very happy.

I, on the other hand, am older and have reached a point in life that allows me to be very manly. That is to say, I can tell the woman I love, in no uncertain terms, “there is no way in hell I’m going to be seen at Bed, Bath & Beyond with you or anyone else” and still get laid that night.

So as I perused the pine, oak and cherry wood selections, determined the dimensions of said wood and located the right bolts and wall anchors, I thought about young “George” and the misery he must have endured.

Perhaps being the only man on the planet to be inside a BB&B that day, standing there while his bride-to-be took 37 minutes to decide on the red soap or the dark red soap.

But I took solace in the fact that one day “George” will come into the warm light that is Home Depot. The sanctuary of men everywhere, a place where we can be at peace with ourselves and allow the manly juices to coarse through our veins.

In the not to distant future, “George’s” bride will say, “Honey, we need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond to pick up some lace and scented candles.”

The older, wiser “George” will say, “are you fucking kidding me? “I’m going to Home Depot. And pick me up a six-pack while you’re out.”

Thank you Home Depot.

     

Topics: humor | 2 Comments »

Barack Obama Facing Charges In Memphis

By MoonDog | November 19, 2008

President-Elect Barack Obama is scheduled to appear in a Memphis court on charges of defacing public property.

According to court documents, a public works employee filed the charge after he says he found 512 campaign signs illegally placed on right-of-way land in the city.

President-Elect Barack Obama Faces Charges for Illegally Placed Campaign Signs

City of Memphis spokesperson Toni Holman-Turner says the employee was just doing his job. She says citations have been issued to numerous politicians in the past, including Mayoral, Sheriff and Attorney General Candidates.

The Memphis City Council passed an ordinance three years ago that made it illegal to place any signs near the right of way. The City says campaign signs aren’t exempt.

According to Holman-Turner, three citations were hand delivered to Obama’s local campaign office and there was no response. She says taking Obama to court was the next step.

Attorney Jay Bailey will be representing the President-Elect. While the City of Memphis says its employee was just doing his job, Bailey feels the city worker just had an axe to grind.

“This guy just had a problem with Barack Obama and decided to use his badge.” Bailey says he plans to file a motion to dismiss this on the grounds of selective prosecution.

President-Elect Obama missed his initial court appearance, and the case has been reset to December 8, 2008, in Environmental Court.

Obama and his campaign could be fined up to $50 per sign. 512 signs equals $26,500, plus court costs.

     

Topics: Politics | No Comments »

Wolverines, Vols & War Eagles Feeling The Pain

By MoonDog | November 19, 2008

Three of college football’s proudest programs - Michigan, Tennessee and Auburn - have had terrible seasons in 2008. For Michigan and Tennessee, 2008 has become the year for setting all-time records, the type of records every college football program would rather not achieve.

The Vols and Wolverines are among the winningest programs in college football history, with Michigan having won more games than any team in its 129-year history. Tennessee is No. 9 on the all-time list, winning 774 games in its 107-year history.

Bill Clinton feels the Vols, Wolverines and Tigers pain

But this year the Vols (3-7) and Wolverines (3-8) have each lost more games in a single season since the school’s began playing football. While Auburn isn’t in quite the same situation, the Tigers are going to lose at least six games for the time since 1999.

If Auburn loses to Alabama on November 29, it will mark the first time Auburn has lost seven games in a season since 1998, the year they finished 3-8.

On the surface you could chalk up a bad season to any number of factors. The 85-scholarship limit has created parity that continues to increase with each passing season. The level of talent among the BCS conference school’s and those of the non-BCS programs isn’t as great as it was even 20 years ago.

Perhaps a bad season can be attributed to the ever-changing tides of fortune, because every so often, every team suffers through a forgettable season.

This year all three programs shared commonalities, most notably ineffectual coaching. Talent can make the most average coach look like a genius, and generally Tennessee, Michigan and Auburn aren’t lacking quality players on the roster.

Michigan has had its worst season ever under Rich Rodriguez

But this year’s versions of the Vols, Wolverines and Tigers weren’t nearly as talented as they’ve been in year’s past. Add to that poor coaching performances by the Vols’ Phil Fulmer, Michigan’s Rich Rodriguez and Auburn’s Tommy Tuberville and you get lousy seasons.

In defense of Rodriguez, I’m not a proponent of his termination that many among the Michigan faithful are calling for. Firing Rodriguez won’t solve the Wolverines problems, but I do believe he brought a lot of the miseries on himself.

Rodriguez is an accomplished coach that’s proven he knows how to win. He’s done it with teams that run the spread option offense, an attack that’s quickly becoming the offense of choice in college football.

When Rodriguez took over this season he implemented the spread option, an offense that wasn’t suited to his talent. For decades Michigan’s roster was populated with offensive players that were best suited to run the “I” formation.

Every week the Wolverines would line up and run the ball down your throat. They’d mix in a few play action passes, a screen here and there and the occasional deep ball to keep you honest. That was Michigan football.

After Lloyd Carr resigned after last season, the remaining players on the roster and those he’d recruited to join this year’s team were primarily the type of players that were better suited to run what had become the traditional Michigan offense.

Granted, the spread option has been used with great success at many programs, including West Virginia where Rodriguez had utilized it for seven years. But trying to run an offense that clearly didn’t have the type of players needed to run it effectively is entirely Rodriguez’ fault.

The guy has been around long enough to know he didn’t have the type players he needed to run his offense to its optimum, so why try to use it?

The key to any offense is the quarterback, but in the spread option the signal caller must be adept at running and passing. While I’m not taking any swipes against the Wolverines quarterbacks, none of them are qualified to run the spread option.

Auburn Head Coach Tommy Tuberville brought his team's problems upon himself

I have never understood why a coach thinks that forcing a particular system on his team is going to generate positive results. In Rodriguez’ case, he should have modified his philosophy and adjusted the offense to utilize the skills sets of the players he had available.

Tuberville’s situation at Auburn is identical to Michigan’s. Last year prior to the Chik-Fil-A Bowl, Tuberville fired offensive coordinator Al Borges and replaced him with Tony Franklin.

Franklin had employed the spread option with success at Troy University where he developed an offense that produced an average of 453 yards per game in 2007.

After Auburn defeated Clemson in the Chik-Fil-A Bowl, everyone was excited about the spread option offense and its potential. But on October 8 this year, Tuberville abruptly fired Franklin after Auburn had struggled offensively through its first six games.

Just as Rodriguez had tried to do at Michigan, Tuberville attempted to employ an offense that wasn’t suited to the type of players he had. As a result, through 11 games this season, Auburn is ranked No. 99 out of 120 FBS teams in total offense, averaging 327.5 yards per game.

It’s another clear example of a coach that tried to force a system on his players that didn’t match the available skills. Just as Michigan had been built on a power running game and strong defense, so were the Tigers.

Tennessee has lost more games this year than any other in its 107-year history

Auburn may very well have lost this many games this season regardless of the offense they ran, but had they stuck with their traditional offense, I’d be willing to bet the Tigers would be no worse than 7-4 right now.

In Fulmer’s case, what can be said that hasn’t already been written? His performance at Tennessee this year was easily his worst, but the Vols’ decent has been a growing problem over the past eight seasons.

After long-time offensive coordinator David Cutcliffe accepted the head coaching job at Duke, Fulmer hired Division 1-AA coach Dave Clawson to replace him. Clawson had employed the West Coast offense at Richmond University with success, but he and Fulmer were soon to discover Richmond isn’t the SEC.

The once-proud Volunteer offense has been reduced to a heap, a huge pile of goo that has sunk to an all-time low. Tennessee currently ranks No. 116 in total offense, averaging only 285.4 yards per game.

Some supporting Clawson suggest his hands were tied and Fulmer never allowed him to fully implement the offense he wanted to run. If that’s true, then why did Fulmer bother hiring Clawson in the first place?

Clawson or Fulmer or whoever is in charge of the Vols’ offense made play-calling as predictable and unimaginative as any team in Tennessee history.

Coupled with this year’s poor showing and the growing unrest among the fan base, Fulmer resigned effective at the end of the season. For Tennessee fans, his departure can’t happen fast enough.

Based on these coaching performances this season, its not unreasonable to suggest the Vols, Wolverines and Tigers got what they deserved.

Actually, each team deserved better, a better job of coaching.

Considering how long each of these coaches have been in the game and the amount of money each are paid, you’d think the least they could do is recognize what offense is best suited to the skills of their players.

     

Topics: NCAA Football, Southeastern Conference, Tennessee Vols Football | 1 Comment »

Thank You Blake Lively (And SI Extra Mustard Too)

By MoonDog | November 19, 2008

Thank you Blake Lively!

Yesterday I posted a gallery of the very lovely Blake Lively, quite possibly the most viewed celebrity on the Internet and for that matter, the entire planet.

I didn’t think much past the images because the vision of Blake is enough to make me a very happy man. But a funny thing happened on the way to the forum.

About 10:00 a.m. I noticed my site was getting a ton of hits. Not just a ton, a mega ton, and my poor server was screaming at me - “I can’t take any more of this!”

So being curious where all of this traffic was coming from I checked out my site stats and saw Sports Illustrated’s Extra Mustard had linked to the Blake Lively post.

Suddenly thousands were enjoying the uber hotness of Miss Lively, not just the usual two or three people that view this site regularly.

Suffice it to say, yesterday was the most traffic I’ve received in a 24-hour period since I began this experiment in January.

I’d like to thank Blake Lively for being incredibly sexy and I’d also like to extend my gratitude to Jimmy Traina at Extra Mustard for the link. Jimmy did more than drive traffic to the site, he proved to be a man of his word. That speaks volumes with me.

Thanks to all of you that took the time to drool over Blake and damn near kill my server in the process.

Take a minute to visit Extra Mustard and all of my friends you’ll see listed in my blog roll.

     

Topics: Celebrities, Chicks & Babes | No Comments »

Audrina Patridge Loves MoonDog’s Links

By MoonDog | November 18, 2008

Afternoon linkage from around the blogosphere I think you’ll enjoy.

Audrina Patridge Loves MoonDog's Links - See More of her at On 205th

Highlight Link of the Day:

If Sports Blogs Were Chicks (The Sports Dollar)

Taylor Swift is a Free Agent (Epic Carnival)

Hottest Female Athlete (Hugging Harold Reynolds)

Rian Lindell Has Scott Norwood Disease (Intentional Foul)

Audrina Patridge Has The Look (On 205th)

Knee to the Head is…Oh Sheet! - Video (The World of Isaac)

BCS = ESPN (Awful Announcing)

Future Hollywood Starlets (Gunaxin)

Week 12 NFL Power Rankings (My Sports Rumors)

Kevin Garnett Suspended - Video (NESW Sports)

Week 12 NFL Studs & Duds (Past The Pylon)

Steelers Tats Are Bad Ass - Video (Pittsburgh Sports)

Gotham Girls Win Roller Derby Title (Steady Burn)

     

Topics: BCS, Celebrities, Chicks & Babes, Models, NBA, NCAA Football, NFL, humor | No Comments »

Holtz Quits ESPN, Replaces Col. Klink at Stalag 13

By MoonDog | November 18, 2008

Citing fan criticism, an inability to work with Mark May and his admiration for Der Fuhrer, Lou Holtz announced his resignation from ESPN late Monday and has accepted the Kommandant position at Stalag 13.

Lou Holtz Replaces Colonel Klink - Image Credit: Death Rattle Sports

Holtz, the former head coach at Notre Dame and later at South Carolina, has been with ESPN as a college football analyst since 2005. “Lisping Lou” as he was affectionately known, worked with Reece Davis and Mark May on ESPN’s College Football Scoreboard studio program.

Last month Holtz came under fire for on-air remarks made regarding University of Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez.

Speaking about the troubles Rodriguez has encountered during his first season as the Wolverines coach, Holtz responded to a question about Rodriguez’ leadership ability by stating, “Ya know,” Hitler was a great leader too.”

Despite an on-air apology the following day, Holtz has come under increased criticism, as has ESPN for not suspending Holtz for the remarks.

General Burkhalter

But the comments referring to Hitler as a great leader captured a lot of attention at Luftwaffe Headquarters. General Albert Burkhalter saw this as an opportunity to hire Holtz and replace the bumbling and incompetent Colonel Wilhelm Klink, Kommandant at Stalag 13.

Burkhalter often refers to Klink as an “idiot” and for years has threatened to send to him to the Russian front. Burkhalter can now rid himself of the self-serving Klink and insert a man that has professed his undying respect for Germany’s leader.

Holtz could not be reached for comment but Colonel Robert Hogan, senior POW officer at Stalag 13, reacted with remorse to the announcement.

Colonel Klink

“It’s a dark day for the Allies,” said Hogan. “With a fanatical and maniacal Kommandant like Holtz in charge, it’s going to make it very difficult for us to commit acts of espionage right under the noses of the most ardent Nazis.”

Klink’s long-time Sergeant of the Guard, Hans Shultz, was asked what effect Holtz’ presence would have on the camp. Schultz said, “I know nothing, nothing!”

ESPN has yet to name a replacement for Holtz and is expected to wait perhaps until next season to make an addition.

     

Topics: humor | 3 Comments »

Blake Lively Has Looking Hot Down Pat

By MoonDog | November 18, 2008

What can you say about Blake Lively that hasn’t already been said? She is quite obviously one of the most recognizable actresses on the planet and also happens to be one of the most beautiful women in the Milky Way.

Lively got her start in 1998 when she appeared in the film Sandman. Since then she’s had roles in the films Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Accepted, perhaps the film that brought her into the national spotlight.

Blake currently stars alongside the lovely Leighton Meester in the CW television series Gossip Girl. Although she just turned 21 this past summer, Lively has risen to iconic status in American pop culture and shows no signs of tapering off anytime soon.

Blessed with typical California girl good looks, Lively has a bright smile, exceptionally great legs and is very amply developed for a young woman her age.

Enjoy this gallery of Blake and as always, no drooling on my site.

[Show as slideshow]