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Holtz Quits ESPN, Replaces Col. Klink at Stalag 13
Published by MoonDog on November 18, 2008
Citing fan criticism, an inability to work with Mark May and his admiration for Der Fuhrer, Lou Holtz announced his resignation from ESPN late Monday and has accepted the Kommandant position at Stalag 13.
Holtz, the former head coach at Notre Dame and later at South Carolina, has been with ESPN as a college football analyst since 2005. “Lisping Lou” as he was affectionately known, worked with Reece Davis and Mark May on ESPN’s College Football Scoreboard studio program.
Last month Holtz came under fire for on-air remarks made regarding University of Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez.
Speaking about the troubles Rodriguez has encountered during his first season as the Wolverines coach, Holtz responded to a question about Rodriguez’ leadership ability by stating, “Ya know,” Hitler was a great leader too.”
Despite an on-air apology the following day, Holtz has come under increased criticism, as has ESPN for not suspending Holtz for the remarks.
General Burkhalter
But the comments referring to Hitler as a great leader captured a lot of attention at Luftwaffe Headquarters. General Albert Burkhalter saw this as an opportunity to hire Holtz and replace the bumbling and incompetent Colonel Wilhelm Klink, Kommandant at Stalag 13.
Burkhalter often refers to Klink as an “idiot” and for years has threatened to send to him to the Russian front. Burkhalter can now rid himself of the self-serving Klink and insert a man that has professed his undying respect for Germany’s leader.
Holtz could not be reached for comment but Colonel Robert Hogan, senior POW officer at Stalag 13, reacted with remorse to the announcement.
Colonel Klink
“It’s a dark day for the Allies,” said Hogan. “With a fanatical and maniacal Kommandant like Holtz in charge, it’s going to make it very difficult for us to commit acts of espionage right under the noses of the most ardent Nazis.”
Klink’s long-time Sergeant of the Guard, Hans Shultz, was asked what effect Holtz’ presence would have on the camp. Schultz said, “I know nothing, nothing!”
ESPN has yet to name a replacement for Holtz and is expected to wait perhaps until next season to make an addition.
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Toss The Burner: Nov. 18, 2008 | Steady Burn on Tue, 18th Nov 2008 08:43
[...] Top Up and Coming Actresses (Gunaxin) If Sports Blogs were Chicks… (The Sports Dollar) Holtz Quits ESPN, Replaces Col. Klink at Stalag 13 (Moondog Sports) The Roots To Be Jimmy Fallon’s Band; We Are Old And Sad (via Pop Candy) [...]
Toss The Burner: Nov. 18, 2008 | Steady Burn on Tue, 18th Nov 2008 08:43
[...] Top Up and Coming Actresses (Gunaxin) If Sports Blogs were Chicks… (The Sports Dollar) Holtz Quits ESPN, Replaces Col. Klink at Stalag 13 (Moondog Sports) The Roots To Be Jimmy Fallon’s Band; We Are Old And Sad (via Pop Candy) [...]
NESW Sports Headlines 11/18/2008 | NESW Sports, Sports Videos on Tue, 18th Nov 2008 12:06
[...] Holtz quits Notre Dame < Moondog Sports [...]