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Jamie Lynn Sigler & Turtle? Say It Ain’t So!
Published by MoonDog on November 23, 2008
If you’re like me and have been an avid viewer of the HBO series Entourage, you’re probably scratching your head trying to figure out what the lovely Jamie Lynn Sigler is doing with hanger-on slash chauffeur Turtle.
Last week Jamie Lynn called Turtle in the middle of the night for a bootie call, which he eagerly submitted to. I can’t tell any lies, if Jamie Lynn called me in the wee morning hours and asked me to come over and draw a bath for her, I’d do it.
But I’m the Great & Powerful MoonDog, not Turtle. I realize Jamie Lynn might be bored and has nothing to do since the Sopranos came to an end last year. But Turtle?
Let’s review Turtle’s qualifications. Check that, I mean let’s review Turtle’s lack of qualifications.
Sean Astin as Sam the Hobbit in The Lord of the Rings
Turtle looks like someone who J.R.R. Tolkien had in mind when he wrote The Lord of the Rings, most particularly the role of Sam. How Sean Astin got the role instead of Turtle is beyond me.
Sam, I mean Turtle, has done nothing since the boys from Queens rode into town so Vince could pursue his acting career.
This is the guy Vince’s agent, Ari Gold, once responded to something stupid Turtle said by telling him to “Smoke more weed, Turtle. Seriously, smoke more weed.”
Jamie Lynn is Tony Soprano’s daughter, the Mafia Princess. I’m a full-blooded Italian. I’m tall, dark and…I don’t make the girls vomit when they lay eyes on me.
I actually spent 18 months in Italy during my time in the military. I speak enough Italian to get myself in and out of trouble. I am the Cappo di tutti Cappi for goodness sakes!
Jamie Lynn needs to be with me, not with short, pudgy, nit-witted, do-nothing, bong-breathed, no driver’s license having, super loser Turtle.
Turtle
If Jamie Lynn wants to do some slumming, I’d rather see her with Drama. Seriously, I know Drama is an idiot, but at least he got a role in a television series since he’s been in L.A. Other than buying weed for the boys, what has Turtle done?
I hope Jamie Lynn gets an opportunity to read this because I’m making her an offer she can’t refuse. Jamie Lynn, sweetie, baby, sugar, love bunny – call the old MoonDog and I promise I’ll be the best bootie call you’ve ever had.
Or I’ll draw that bath for you, whatever you prefer. But please, crawl out of the gutter and get yourself free of Sam, I mean Turtle. I can’t handle watching the show with your sexy self in the same bed with a hobbit.
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Toss The Burner: Nov. 24, 2008 | Steady Burn on Mon, 24th Nov 2008 09:11
[...] Iron Mike’s Shanghai Surprise (Hugging Harold Reynolds) Hot Oklahoma Sooners Girls (Gunaxin) Jamie Lynn Sigler & Turtle? Say It Ain’t So! (Moondog Sports) SAPP MISSES POINT ON BIGOTED COMMENT (via The Big Lead) sr_adspace_id = [...]
B-Reezy on Mon, 24th Nov 2008 11:08
From last night’s episode: “Ya Drama, we’re fucking.”
/classic Drama Face
MoonDog on Mon, 24th Nov 2008 11:36
Should have waited to write this until after last night’s episode. More to come on this subject.
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