Happiness Is A Warm Gun: The Plaxico Burress Story

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While I was out running errands Saturday I decided to stop at a new Italian restaurant and grab a few slices. After I placed my order I turned my attention to the Clemson-South Carolina game that was on the big screen.

Plaxico Burress Shot Himself in the leg Early Saturday

After a few minutes I notice the news of Plaxico Burress‘ latest misstep – or should I say misfire – when he apparently shot himself in the thigh with his own handgun while clubbing in Manhattan early Saturday.

I actually started laughing when reading the news as it scrolled across the screen. I knew Burress wasn’t in line to win the Albert Einstein Mental Giant of the Year Award anytime soon, but damn.

The decision to have a loaded weapon in his possession, much less carry said weapon into an establishment serving alcohol, clearly isn’t something the Giants or the NFL are going to be happy about.

Not to mention, unless I’m seriously mistaken, carrying a firearm into an establishment that serves alcohol is a felony. Just sayin’.

So Plaxico Burress potentially just got himself suspended again, hurt his team and oh yea, shot a hole in his thigh because he’s a dumb ass to the 4th power.

Wasn’t it just a few months ago that Burress vowed to change his ways after the Giants suspended him for missing a practice?

Last month in an interview with the New York Times, Burress said, “I am human.” “I have made some mistakes. I haven’t made the best of decisions. I am aware of that, and I am the first one to look myself in the mirror and be honest with myself.”

No Plax, you’ve made a LOT of mistakes but I do agree that you haven’t made the best of decisions, particularly this latest decision.

And here’s the real kicker. Burress brought the weapon inside the Latin Quarter nightclub on Lexington Avenue at 48th Street, just a few blocks from the NFL’s headquarters on Park Avenue.

As it turns out, the self-inflicted wound wasn’t terribly serious and Burress was released from the hospital at roughly 2:00 p.m. Saturday afternoon.

That’s good news for Burress, but obviously this latest distraction isn’t the type of news the Giants organization wanted to hear as the NFL’s regular season winds down.

I’m guessing Burress hasn’t been paying attention to the itchy trigger finger (pun intended) NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has exhibited in dealing with troublesome players.

Tank Johnson, Pacman Jones and half of the Cincinnati Bengals roster can attest to the severity of Goddell’s disciplinary actions.

Even someone like Burress, who’s shown less rational thinking than the U.S. Congress, should be able to foresee that carrying a fireman inside a bar isn’t exactly a bright move.

If a blind squirrel can sometimes find a nut, you’d think Burress should know that the light at the end of the tunnel is in fact an approaching train.

Anyone having a modicum of common sense would realize they’d better get off the tracks or the train is going to run you over.

But this Plaxico Burress, and that means the train is running at full speed and he’s still standing on the tracks.

In this case, the train is Goodell. Over the next week or so we’ll find out if the train hits Burress with a multi-game suspension.

I suspect that’s exactly what’s going to happen, and Burress will deserve it.

The video clip? Just play it.