Steroid Offenders: Don’t Suspend Them, Let Jack Bauer Handle It

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I have the perfect plan to erase steroids from sports. Instead of worrying with suspensions for offending players, make it mandatory that anyone with a positive test for steroids be subjected to several hours of interrogation from Jack Bauer.

Let’s not confuse this with a political agenda for or against torture. I happen to agree with the Jack Bauer method of extracting information.

But suspensions and loss of income have proven to be less than effective in an effort to eliminate steroid use. Some of baseball’s biggest stars have also been the game’s biggest cheaters.

Barry Bonds, Rafael Palmeiro, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Alex Rodriguez and now Manny Ramirez have all been linked to steroid use. Whether you believe their explanations of denial or outright refusing to acknowledge steroid use is irrelevant.

For minor league players caught using steroids, suspensions are an effective way to punish an offending player. But when the offending player is a well-established major league star, suspending them for 50 games and the subsequent loss of income is fruitless.

These big name players are already rich, so even the $7.7 million Ramirez is losing over the course of his suspension is of little consequence. The 50 games Ramirez will be sitting out amounts to an extended vacation.

Some suggest Major League Baseball’s drug testing program has been effective in rooting out steroid users. Nonsense. If it were so effective, why have so many players been caught cheating since the program was implemented?

The answer may be that some of these players aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box. There isn’t one player at any level of professional baseball that knows the potential to get caught exists, yet some continue to use performance enhancing substances.

That’s just beyond stupid.

You know the line from Forrest Gump? Stupid is as stupid does. If a player wants to continue using steroids or other performance enhancing substances knowing what the consequences will be, then the consequences aren’t harsh enough.

Granted, imposing harsher penalties would have an almost zero chance of ratification from the players union.

But if Major League Baseball – and specifically its players – really wanted to eliminate steroid use from the game, they would step up to the plate – preferably with an uncorked bat – and do what’s right.

Instead of hiding behind the brotherhood of the union, players must take a more active role in governing themselves. Peer pressure is a powerful influence.

Imposing one-year suspensions and losing a year’s salary would be a step in the right direction. Including provisions that an offending player must attend a drug treatment program and perform a few hundred hours of community service would also augment the penalties.

Let’s not forget, steroid use isn’t only against MLB’s rules, it’s against federal law too. Those penalties are certainly better than the alternatives.

The alternatives you ask?

Getting locked in a room with Jack Bauer for a few hours.