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Browns Suck So Bad, Fans Are Flocking To Detroit
Published by MoonDog on September 28, 2009
Just three games into their schedule, the 2009 NFL season is already looking bleak for the Cleveland Browns, dropping to 0-3 after getting blown out by the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday 34-3.
The Browns have scored a total of 29 points in their three games, with only the St. Louis Rams scoring fewer. If you think the Browns’ offense is bad, the defense is even worse, having allowed 95 points in their three losses- most in the NFL.
Cleveland is so bad this season fans of the team – what few of them are left – are flocking to Detroit.
“At least the Lions have won a game” one Browns’ fan said as he, Uncle Jed, Granny, Elly May and Jethro loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly, I mean Auburn Hills, Michigan.
The Lions finally broke their 20-game losing streak on Sunday with a 19-14 victory over the Washington Redskins.
Cleveland, which last won an NFL championship in 1964 and is one of five teams to have never made a Super Bowl appearance, has officially supplanted Detroit as the most pathetic team in the National Football League.
It’s not exactly the distinction Cleveland was looking for this season after firing Romeo Crennel and bringing in former New York Jets coach Eric Mangini.
You knew things were going to be bad for the Browns when Mangini tried to keep the identity of his starting quarterback a secret prior to the team playing their season opener against Minnesota.
With the exception of cave-dwelling Osama bin Laden, everyone knew the Browns were going to start Brady Quinn.
When Mangini’s attempt at subterfuge failed – not that it wasn’t destined for failure anyway – it seemed the air was let out of the Browns season before the team’s first snap from scrimmage.
Sunday’s beat down by the Ravens was the worst of the Browns’ three losses this season, which is saying a lot considering how poorly the team has played thus far in 2009.
After Baltimore held Cleveland to 78 yards of offense while building a 20-0 halftime lead, Mangini pulled Quinn in favor of backup quarterback Derek Anderson.
The switch did nothing but send Cleveland fans heading for the exits and making travel arrangements for their trek to Detroit.
“I thought that at that point D.A. might be able to give us a spark. That’s what I was hoping to accomplish coming out of halftime,” Mangini said.
Quinn went 6-of-8 for 34 yards and an interception. Anderson’s performance was even more futile than Quinn’s, completing 11-of-19 passes for 92 yards and three interceptions.
Just how bad is Cleveland’s offense?
In three games this season, the Browns have amassed 509 yards while punter Dave Zastudil has 482 yards on 11 punts, almost as many yards as Cleveland’s total offensive output.
The long term doesn’t look too bright for the Browns either.
The Browns schedule doesn’t have too many breaks this season, with games yet to be played against a rejuvenated Cincinnati team, the defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers, another date with the Ravens and they’ll face the currently undefeated San Diego Chargers.
The only game Cleveland can point to this season as a possible victory? You guessed it – Detroit. The Browns will travel to the Motor City to face the Lions at Ford Field on November 22.
But let’s not kid ourselves. By that point, Cleveland should be 0-9 with a good chance at equaling the 2008 Lions as the only team in NFL history to go winless in a 16-game season.
Former Cleveland fans having migrated to Detroit will pile into Ford Field and sit in the newly created “Bail Out Pound,” heaving unused dog bones at the players they once cheered for and the team they gave up on.
Who could blame them? Cleveland’s management gave up on trying to field a winning team a long time ago. It seems like a lifetime since those heady days of the 1980’s when the Browns were actually relevant.
That damn John Elway…
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Darrell on Mon, 28th Sep 2009 08:59
what are they gonna do once they figure out that the Lions suck too?
Pinkies Up!!! Mr. Ed Edition on Mon, 28th Sep 2009 12:06
[...] Browns Suck So Bad Fans Are Flocking To Detroit (MoonDog Sports) [...]
Joe Posnanski: Eric Mangini is Worst NFL Head Coaching Hire in 25 Years on Fri, 2nd Oct 2009 17:28
[...] Browns suck so bad, fans are flocking to Detroit — (MoonDog) [...]