For those of you that don’t know Henry Lowenfels, he’s one of guys that produces videos at the Global Sports Fraternity…and he has a man crush on Manny Pacquiao too.
Henry’s infatuation with Pacquiao makes perfect sense because he resides in the bay area of California, where man crushes are quite common.
In fact, man crushes are actually encouraged in California. I guess the reasoning behind that is to help take people’s minds off the fact the state is broke and in debt up to their eyebrows.
In all fairness to Henry, he’s kind of semi important because unlike the Great & Powerful MoonDog, he has a page at IMDB listing his accomplishments.
As you might guess, the list is very short, sort of like Henry, but not as hairy.
But still, it’s a list that even I don’t have, unless we’re including rap sheets. If that were the case, I’d rule.
I didn’t have any idea of the love Henry felt for Pacquiao until a recent e-mail exchange uncovered the truth.
You see, I give Henry free space here at MoonDog Sports to post GSF videos. Sometimes he sends me a link without being prompted, but sometimes I have to ask him to send me a new video.
A few weeks back, I sent Henry an e-mail asking him to get off his dead ass and send me a new cinematic masterpiece that only the Global Sports Fraternity can produce.
A few days pass and Henry finally responds to my request. He goes into a mini dissertation (excuse) why it took him so long to reply and that’s when he drops the Manny bomb.
For the record, I saved the e-mail so I have proof that the claims being made here are true.
By the way, I had to correct all of the grammar, spelling and punctuation errors he made in the e-mail – and Henry has a degree in English.
Getting back to the story, Henry tells me he was jogging in Griffith Park one morning and passed by Team Pacquiao.
He says, “I saw two dudes in a red Nike track suit in front, then there was this little Asian dude who I’m guessing was Manny and then two guys behind him.
All five of them were wearing the same Nike track suit. The Asian dude looked like Manny, so I turned around (unzipped my pants) and saw the back of the jacket: Team Pacquiao.
While I’d never kiss Floyd Mayweather, I almost kissed Manny.”
After reading the e-mail, I sat in my chair staring at the computer, like Nostradamus staring into a sphere and seeing the future.
And like Nostradamus, I began to have visions of Henry trying to kiss Manny Pacquiao, and all of the visions ended with him being carted away by grim-faced paramedics.
Upon regaining cogent thought, I pondered the depths of Henry’s love for Manny Pacquiao, and not just any love, but the kind of love you can only find at eHarmony or NAMBLA.
How terrible one’s existence must be, knowing that day after day Henry’s yearnings for Manny went without reciprocation.
Unrequited man love is like a cruel pagan; never yielding, deviously cunning, unemotional and filled with hate.
Henry was it’s latest victim and Manny Pacquiao served as the pugilist, thrusting punch after punch into his already broken heart.
After a few days passed, I responded to Henry’s e-mail, noting the sadness in his words as he wrote “I almost kissed Manny”.
With all the compassion I could muster, I told Henry that I realized he was busy thinking about committing unnatural acts with Manny P, but I’ve had the same video on my site for two weeks and I’m tired of looking at it.
Choosing my words carefully, I asked him to remove his hand from his Pacquiao pleaser and type in a URL directing me to one of his videos.
I couldn’t withhold the truth about Henry’s man crush on Manny Pacquiao any longer. In bringing his predicament to light, I feel a modicum of gratitude is warranted.
In warning everyone that thought Henry was a generally likeable fellow, his admission opens our eyes to the fact that he is actually a Manny Pacquiao loving, man crushing sex machine that is to be avoided, feared and loathed.
And Manny Pacquiao, should you read this post, I ask from the very core of my being that you heed my warning.
Stay the hell away from Henry Lowenfels, for if you disregard my advice, he may try to kiss you.
I would attempt to refute this, but everything above is, unfortunately, true.
From NAMBLA to Nikes, the all-powerful Moondog nailed it.
as henry’s gf, i give him full permission to make out with MANNNNY PACMANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN PACQUIAO.