The Philadelphia Phillies won their fourth straight NL East pennant on Monday with an 8-0 win over the Washington Nationals on the strength of Roy Halladay’s pitching.
The Phillies win means two guys named Bill are really happy today; Bill at Crash Burn Alley and my long time friend Bill who somehow became a Philadelphia fan despite living in the mid-south.
Bill at Crash Burn Alley isn’t going to cause me any issues, but the other Bill is going to cost me a lot of ice tea. Allow me to explain.
You see Bill has a TV that’s like looking at a distant galaxy through a cloud. In other words, his TV sucks.
I, however, have a spectacular HD TV with a picture so good you can see boogers hanging out of people’s noses in the stands.
So Bill will be at my house watching the Phillies play once the MLB playoffs begin next week, and that means he’ll drink up all of my ice tea in the process.
Never in the history of mankind has one person consumed more ice tea than him.
Over the past two years, Bill has poured about $500 worth of MY ice tea down his gullet while he’s at MY house watching MY television.
And don’t get me started about all the food he’s eaten either. Rib Eyes, ravioli and chili don’t last long around here when the Phillies are playing.
Before the season I picked the Phillies to win the NL East, so when they achieved that purpose it didn’t come as a surprise.
But I’m having to pay a price for it, a hefty price at that. And you know what sucks the most?
I’m a Cardinals fan.
Thanks Phillies.
[...] Phillies Win NL East; There Goes My Ice Tea [...]