The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has announced a set of new rules governing sex toys, including the approval of vibrators seven inches or shorter in carry-on bags.
In addition to the vibrators, TSA will also allow whips, chains, leashes, restraints and manacles aboard aircraft, just in case some of the passengers are in the mood for a little kinky lovin’.
However, TSA says that, “Anything club-like and anatomically correct cylinders of roughly a foot in length” will remain on the list of items not allowed aboard.
TSA was thoughtful enough to establish rules to accommodate those passengers who need to travel with their sex toys.
Those rules include: removing the batteries from vibrators so the object doesn’t unexpectedly give Mary, a lonely housewife from Waukegan, the excitement she’s been missing.
TSA also says that travelers should do their research before entering a country that prohibits sex toys and pornography, like Saudi Arabia.
Perhaps most important of all, liquids such as personal lubricant must be in an unmarked three-ounce container or less.
Just so that I have this right, TSA will pat down three-year-old kids and won’t allow wheelchair-bound little old ladies with wet diapers aboard aircraft, but vibrators, personal lubricant and other sex toys are okay.
Got it.
And we thought TSA was just a bunch of mindless twits who spent their days touching people’s junk.
