Dammit, I’m pissed off. I’ve been to hundreds of football games over the years and not once have I seen the stripper bus roll into my town for pregame festivities.
If ever the word “tailgating” took on a whole new meaning, the stripper bus, also known as the “Booty Lounge,” is the perfect way to get your competitive juices flowing before watching the big game.
Police in Detroit say that a mobile stripper bus was parked near Ford Field last Sunday before the Lions home game against the Minnesota Vikings.
Naturally, football fans are anxious to see their team play. But they’re also anxious to watch chicks take off their clothes inside a stripper bus that reportedly has two stages with dance poles, a smoke machine, laser lights and a sound system.
Surprisingly, Detroit police chief Ralph Godbee says that the stripper bus may be illegal.
I know what you’re thinking. Like you, I’m just as shocked to learn that a mobile stripper bus operating outside an NFL stadium may be illegal.
What that means in police talk is that it’s okay for Detroit police officers to visit the stripper bus, but tailgating fans wishing to see pretty girls take off their clothes aren’t allowed inside.
I know this to be factual because according to local reports, two Detroit police officers have been photographed with one of the ladies from the stripper bus.
Detroit mayor Dave Bing said the bus was an issue because it took away from the family environment associated with going to the football game.
What the hell is Bing talking about? Since when has the city of Detroit ever been known to have anything remotely resembling a “family environment”?
If a man wants to bring his son to a football game and visit the wholesome young ladies inside the stripper bus who are doing their patriotic duty by showing off their God given womanly assets, what can possibly be more family oriented than that?
Since cheerleaders won’t show us everything we want to see – at least not intentionally – why not allow the fine young ladies working in the stripper bus to give us football fans what we want.
Strippers need jobs too and these girls can’t strip unless they have a facility like the mobile Booty Lounge to peddle their wares.
If it weren’t for hard working entrepreneurs like these, the nation’s unemployment rate would be even higher than it is.
So I say to the good people of Detroit, tell police chief Godbee and mayor Bing to leave the operators of the stripper bus alone.
And if the stripper bus isn’t welcome in Detroit, then it will be that city’s loss because there are plenty of football fans around the nation who will gladly welcome them into their towns.
Let’s take a stand against oppression and discrimination. Allow the stripper bus to be a sanctuary for football fans everywhere, a place where men can be men and women can be marginally skanky.
Isn’t that what the founding fathers had in mind when they left England? I think it is.
Thank you, God bless you, God bless the stripper bus and God bless the United States of America!
