With the new year approaching, it’s time for all of us to make promises we can’t keep or have no intention of keeping.
I generally don’t make new year’s resolutions because I don’t believe in wasting time, especially when there are so many more important things to do, like searching the Internet for half-naked chicks to post on this web site.
But for the sake of making resolutions, I thought I’d make a few that are actually going to be easy.
1. I promise I won’t quit drinking beer.
2. I promise I won’t stop watching sports.
3. I promise to cuss at other motorists when I’m driving.
4. I promise to continue hating politicians.
5. I promise I won’t stop lusting for Lauren Sivan.
Lauren Siva - The Object of my Desire
6. I promise I won’t go on a diet.
7. I promise to continue making fun of Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Urban Meyer.
8. I promise to remain in full don’t give a shit mode.
9. I promise to continue having unrealistic erotic fantasies about Ashley Greene.
10. I promise not to believe the December 21, 2012 bullshit about the world coming to an end.
